Almost Transfer Day!!!

I am completely freaking out!!! Transfer is scheduled for 11 am tomorrow morning and I haven’t slept in days from anxiousness. I am so excited but so worried! I know I know but I can’t help it.

Retrieval was last Thursday. We retrieved 11 eggs. Out of those 11, 9 were mature. Out of those 9, 8 fertilized!!! EIGHT!! I’m grateful for this number. Based on my diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve and the damage from endometriosis i honestly couldn’t have asked for more. Now i just hope they are strong healthy eggs. We have not had an update since Friday and it’s literally killing me not knowing. We have no idea how many embryos are still alive. I’m praying no news means good news. I mean the office can’t be irresponsible enough not to call ahead if it’s bad news right? There has to be at least one good embryo or there would have been a call. (Desperately trying to calm my irrational fears). So the plan is to arrive for our 11 am appointment. Wake, Pray, Transfer💞🙏🏼. Not much else we can do. I’m physically & emotionally drained and there’s still such a long road ahead. After transfer i have to wait 2 weeks for a blood test to confirm. For those ladies that have done this 3,4,5 times. I can’t imagine your strength. I keep repeating to myself this is it. It’s our time. It’s going to work

I ‘m heading straight to Acupuncture after transfer then relaxing for the next two day so the embaby can implant. No stress no worries. Stress increases cortisol and adrenaline which can negatively impact the ability of the embryo to implant. Not today Satan🚫.

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The Last 💉shot… for Now

We triggered tonight!! Hubs was a total pro😘. By taking this last shot of HCG before egg retrieval it prompts the eggs (inside each follicle) to complete the maturation process. Ovulation will occur within 36 hours (approximately)

Egg retrieval is set for 7 am Thursday! I am a ball of emotions. Anxious, nervous and excited and honestly a little nauseated. Not sure if it’s the HCG shot or my nerves. I ‘m also not looking forward to going under anesthesia. I didn’t react well at all the last time I was under, but it will only be for 10-15 minutes total this time. I’ve got a shit ton of instructions to follow before retrieval but I’m READY.

I don’t know how I will sleep the next 2 nights but I am just so ready to get this show on the road. This is just a small step in the direction we need to be.

Once egg retrieval happens , how many mature eggs will we get? How many will fertilize? Will the embryos live and multiply cells to day 5? Will they be good Quality? (Lower quality embryos are less likely to implant ) will we have any embryos to freeze in case it doesn’t work?

SO MANY THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT! And I am a worrier. I try not to be but I can’t help it.

They will transfer 1 embryo about 5 days after retrieval. We most likely will not know the status of our embryos until it’s time to transfer. TORTURE. Ugh. Patience is a virtue I need to learn. Can’t look back now but I am waiting for our miracle to happen. Send your positive thoughts. We need them.

EGGcellent news🥚🥚🥚

Tonight was day 10 of stims. I had a monitoring appointment bright & early this morning and we have 19 follicles growing!! Now most likely they won’t all be mature at time of retrieval but so happy that my softball sized ovaries are responding to meds at least! I am a bloated hormonal mess that can barely sit but I’ve never felt more grateful in my life. That we have this 2nd chance to make our dream a reality.

Estrogen is still going up which is good news and my lining is in great shape. I will get Instructions by Tuesday as to when to do my trigger shot 💉. I even had the nurse sharpie marker where on my butt the intramuscular shot should be given🤗. I’ve given myself all my shots so far but hubby is about to step up & help me with this one. Guys this is what we have been waiting for. I’m beyond excited & hopeful. Below are my follicle sizes so far. With a little luck most will reach close to 18mm & have mature eggs inside. The next couple of weeks are going to be the hardest weeks of our lives even if all goes as planned. But in my heart, I B E L I E V E something wonderful is about to happen !

My expectation is that I will most likely stim 1-2 more nights then it’s time to get those eggies🙏🏼🙏🏼

The IVF Rabbit Hole🐰⚫️

Before Alice got to wonderland , she had to fall pretty hard Down a deep hole. Being on IVF Meds is similar. Before I can get to the anticipated moment of egg retrieval I have to free fall through a pretty dark hole I call IVF stimulation Meds.

Today is Day 7 of Stims. Deep anxiety has set in and the sharp headache that never goes away. If i do fall asleep I’m having crazy vivid dreams and just wake unrested. I’m beyond stressed at work which I’m sure is amplified by the hormonal mess that I am. Basically I’m stressing about the stress I have.🤦🏻‍♀️ what am I stressing about? Everything and nothing at the same time. I think it’s a side effect of the cocktail of injections I’m on.

Yesterday We got some pretty good news. My estrogen which I was worried about tripled! AND we recruited some more follicles. We went from 5 follicles on morning of day 4 to 13 on morning of day 6. THIRTEEN!!! I am so relieved. My ovaries are actually responding to the Meds!! Let’s just pray that it continues. The 13 follicles are between the sizes of 4mm-9mm and we need them to get to around 18mm for egg retrieval.

I also visited the acupuncturist yesterday. Like i need more needles in my life right? Acupuncture is supposed to help with blood flow to the uterus and also for relaxation. It was recommended by my Dr. The acupuncturist put needles in my abdomen, hands, ears, feet and legs. Status: human pin cushion . But I will do whatever it takes, even if there’s only a slim chance it will work. I will update again over the weekend, hopefully with good news again. . I have another date with this guy bright & early tomorrow morning 😂

Even though today was a tough day I’m trying to remind myself that we are on a slow and steady pace to victory. Egg retrieval is only the first leg of this marathon. Please follicles, please grow 🙏🏼